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1. Communication is really, really important, both in big ways and small ways. It's how you stay connected. It's important to talk about issues and feelings; it's also important to talk about everyday things. And don't forget non-verbal communication.
2. How to talk to men. Even Carl, evolved as he is, doesn't really do subtle. Being direct is the key. You want something done, you don't hint around and hope he picks up the signals--you tell him straight out.
3. Married sex is way better than single sex, and gets moreso the longer we've been married. The freedom you get from being with someone who knows you that well and loves and accepts you, and vice versa, is incredibly liberating. And the intimacy adds an emotional dimension to the physical pleasure.
   
4. The best way to get him to stop snoring is to pinch his butt. Well, okay, maybe it's not the best way, but it is effective. It wakes him up enough to make the snoring stop, releases that aggression that's been building up while I've been gritting my teeth and listening to it, and besides that, it's really enteraining the way he jumps.
   
5. Fighting (arguing, not fistfights) is a good thing. At least the way we do it. There's a lot of yelling, carrying on, hyperbole, drama, and maybe even tears, and it can go on for a while, though we've gotten more efficient at it over the years. But we keep talking (loudly) until we cut through all the crap and get to the heart of the issue, which is very often only loosely related to whatever started the argument in the first place. It clears the air, keeps resentments from building up and festering, prompts changes, and increases intimacy.
6. Sex isn't just a fun way to pass the time. It's important. Whenever we go through a dry spell, I find myself getting more and more irritable. Conclusion: orgasms are nature's prozac.
   
7. There's rarely one right way to do anything, and if he does the dishes differently than I do, it doesn't matter--the point is, he's doing them and I'm not. Though I'm still working on the whole dishcloth thing.
   
8. It's important to spend time together, just the two of us. It was more important when the kids were small, to get some quality adult time. It's also important now that they're older. It lets us see each other as ourselves, not just as parents or domestic partners, and reminds us why we're married.
9. How to give a great blow job. Not that he had any complaints in the beginning, you understand, and it is a work in progress, constantly evolving, but I must say I'm damn good now.
   
10. Never to pass up an opportunity to show affection. It's so easy to let the casual kisses and hugs slide, but just that little connection makes a big difference in our attitude toward each other.
11. You've got to cut each other some slack. Sure, Carl has faults--some days I notice them more than others--but here's the thing: so do I. If I want him to ignore mine, it's only fair for me to ignore his.
    
12. Pavlov was right. Positive reinforcement is a great way to influence behavior. The sneaky thing about it, though, is that it works on both sides. If I, for example, show appreciation when Carl makes dinner or vacuums, not only is he more likely to do it again, but it makes me feel all warm fuzzies, too.
13. Life is about choices. So I've learned to do cost-benefit analyses. Actually, I learned this in accounting classes, but applied it to marriage. (It's the way my mind works--you want emotion and romance, talk to Carl.) I make dozens of little decisions every day, assessing importance and consequences. Love, intimacy, and trust are choices. Every day, in a bunch of little ways, I choose to take those risks. And it's so worth it.
    

• ****½ "Catch a Falling Angel" by Carole Nelson Douglas. Time travel romance.
  
  Since this story is the reason I bought the book, it's only fitting that it's my favorite. Adrian Ashworth, a Regency rake, is driving his phaeton with more recklessness than usual, crashes, and ends up in an exclusive club that turns out to be the anteroom to hell. There he's told that he's not quite bad enough to join in what appears to be non-stop gaming and wenching, but he can go back to earth, and if he can redeem, or rather un-redeem himself by Christmas, he'll be admitted. Otherwise, it'll be limbo, because he's certainly not good enough for heaven. He has 4 days.
  
  When he arrives back on earth, it's in the middle of a rock concert, and he's the star. This is one of those times when I'm glad I didn't read the back cover, because it was such a fun surprise. When he's asked via the Wishful Wings of Christmas Foundation to meet Natalie Parks, a young woman recently recovered from a car accident after years in the hospital, he sees her as his ticket back to hell.
  
  It was great fun watching him adjust to 20th century life, and to try to reconcile his plan to be evil with his growing affection for Natalie.



• ** "Brush of Angel Wings" by Emma Merritt. Contemporary paranormal romance.
  
  Vince returns to his great-grandmother's home for Christmas, where he's hoping to reunite with his first love and his cousin James's widow, Hannah. James and Hannah's daughter Allie, meanwhile, has wished for a new father.
  
  It's a pretty standard Christmas story plot, with the addition of an antique wooden cowboy angel with a family legend attached. But even though it's only novella-length, it moves slowly. The backstory is doled out in big expository chunks, and the same information gets repeated several times, though oddly, it takes until near the end of the story to find out why both of them insist that Vince is responsible for James's death.
  
  Then there are Vince and Hannah. They both went back and forth between wanting to get back together and loathing each other switching roles without warning or motivation, until I really didn't care what they did.
  
  And then there was the ending, which was a ****spoiler****tacked-on excuse to force both Hannah and Vince to overcome their fear of motorcycles.****



• **½ "The Trouble with Angelina" by Marilyn Campbell. Contemporary paranormal romance.
  
  Angel Chadick is a widowed mom; Sean O'Grady is owner of a construction company and the mayor of their small town. They're both busily trying to fill their loneliness with overwork. Sean's grandfather Seamus is the angel trying to get them together.
  
  This could have been a cute story--Seamus is mischievous and plays several pranks to force the two together, but that only works if you like the characters being set up.
  
  Angel is described as being accident-prone, but that's never really followed up on, other than to result in her having a big purple bump on her forehead during their first date. And she has 3 children: an older son and twins. I know I've said what I think about kids in romances, and this is no exception. The twins are basically nonentities, making me wonder why they took up space in the novella. The older son is adamantly opposed to his mother dating (gee, what an unusual idea!), but does an abrupt 180 after angel Seamus tells him Sean likes to go fishing and camping. Uh, yeah, I'll believe that.
  
  The biggest obstacle to enjoying this story, though, is that I didn't like the main characters. Angel flies off the handle and tells Sean off, thinks he's doing a horrible job as mayor; Sean yells at her that she doesn't know what she's talking about and criticizes her for complaining about the government without getting involved. But hey, they're both hot and single, so who cares if they dislike each other? Bah.



• **** "Tin Angel" by Patricia Rice. Historical paranormal romance.
  
  Thank goodness I didn't stop after the first story, though I questioned my sanity in not doing so several times during the preceding two stories. Patricia Rice is a favorite, and I hadn't even realized she had a story in this anthology.
  
  Jeffrey, Viscount Darcourt, is despondent. Nowadays, we'd say he was burned out. He doesn't see the value in anything he does. Then an angel is sent to restore his spirit. I think. I'm a little fuzzy on the mechanism here, but she has something to do with a tin angel Christmas tree ornament. (Disclaimer: school started this week, and with it, 5:30 mornings--the story itself might be perfectly clear and I'm the one who's fuzzy.) He decides to call the angel "Mary."
  
  The story is sweet, as Mary sets about trying to shake Jeffrey out of his doldrums, and funny, as her efforts don't always turn out for the best, or the way she planned.
  
  And in another case of it being better to avoid the back cover, I couldn't figure out until almost the end who the heroine was. Mary, the obvious choice, was invisible to all but Jeffrey. I didn't think Patricia Rice would leave them like the couple in "Paradise Bossed". Then there was his brother's widow, and she was rather boring, not to mention the whole idea was kind of squicky. And I really didn't want him falling for the vamp his mother brought to the house for Christmas in a matchmaking attempt. The only other candidate was the vicar's daughter, who was abed with a fever and was dying because she'd lost the will to live after her fiancé died.
  
  Suffice it to say, it was resolved satisfactorily.




• *** "Guarded by Angels" by Mary Balogh. Historical paranormal romance.
  
  This one's a reunion story. June and Elliott have been married for 5 years. They haven't seen each other for 4.75 years. On alternating years, they go to Elliott's family's home for Christmas, but this year, his grandmother has decided enough is enough and has invited them both, telling each the other would be elsewhere.
  
  On the way there, however, each of them is waylaid by a snowstorm. June is rescued by an older woman named Mary; Elliott by a young boy named Joss; both are taken to the same small cottage, where the snow forces them to spend the night.
  
  The woman and her grandson's love and good cheer is contagious, and soon the couple are relaxing and rekindling their love.
  
  My main complaint with the story is that it's not explained until near the end why June and Elliott separated, and their reconciliation left me... hehe... cold.
  
  The best part, though, was the fairly subtle portrayal of Joss--the angel who really enjoyed taking the form of a young boy.
  

1. Northside Elementary School, Ann Arbor, MI.
   Our oldest went to kindergarten and first grade here while Carl was in grad school. It was a very international population, mostly because the children from married student housing went here. The emphasis was very much on making kids feel good, more than on learning.
2. Mark Twain Elementary, Heidelberg, Germany.
   Then we moved back to Germany, and she went to 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grades here. It was a big adjustment for her, because the schools' philosophies were entirely different. Here, she had to actually put in a modicum of effort to get praise.
3. Grafenwöhr Elementary School, Grafenwöhr, Germany.
   Fifth and sixth grades. Because Grafenwöhr didn't have a middle school, they stayed in elementary through the 6th grade. One of her teachers' husbands was a classical musician, and he adapted the opera Aida for them. I've got a video of their performance back home somewhere.
4. Clara Driscoll Middle School, San Antonio, TX.
   When we moved back to San Antonio, the school district was our first consideration when deciding where to live. Dagny went to 7th grade here, then because it was so overcrowded, the district built...
5. Barbara Bush Middle School, San Antonio, TX.
   She went to 8th grade here. The new school looked nice, but was apparently not that well-constructed, because they had a lot of problems that first year.
6. Ronald Reagan High School, San Antonio, TX.
   This was also brand new when she started 9th grade here. The nice thing about that was that 11th and 12th graders who'd been at other high schools in the area were given the option to finish at those schools, so for the first two years, it was less crowded, and she was able to take some electives as a freshman that she normally wouldn't have been able to get into until much later.
7. UTSA, The University of Texas at San Antonio.
   She's been at UTSA ever since, majoring in English with minors in German and possibly Spanish.
8. Grafenwöhr Elementary School, Grafenwöhr, Germany.
   Our older son went to kindergarten and first grade here. He had half-day kindergarten, which was a good thing, because he fell asleep every day on the 45-minute bus ride home.
9. Encino Park Elementary, San Antonio, TX.
   This was a nice change for him--we lived less than a half mile away. He went here from 2nd through 5th grades. Unfortunately, he was known as such a nice, quiet, trouble-free kid that twice when they added a new teacher after the start of the school year, he was picked to move to the new class.
10. Tejeda Middle School, San Antonio, TX.
    No, we didn't move--it's just such an expanding area that they built yet another new middle school. This one was only a mile away. I suspect this is where he first got his interest in history--they had a big history fair every year.
11. Ramstein American High School, Ramstein, Germany.
    Again, when we moved, the school district was our first priority in finding housing. He's gone here from 9th grade, and will be starting 11th here on Monday. We're hoping/planning on staying here long enough for him to graduate.
12. Encino Park Elementary, San Antonio, TX.
    Our youngest son went here from kindergarten through third grade. He's the only one who had full-day kindergarten, and thankfully, he's also the only one who hadn't just turned 5 before starting school. I don't think his older siblings would have been able to manage.
13. Ramstein Intermediate School, Ramstein, Germany.
    The response here to overcrowding wasn't to build a new elementary school, but to separate into elementary school (K-2) and intermediate school (3-5). In 4th grade, Cam earned the distinction of being the only one in the family to have ever gotten a straight A+ report card. This year, he'll start at Ramstein Middle School, which is right next door to his old school.
    
    

1. What My Two Cents wants for her birthday
2. Wystful One makes me feel old
3. Doug's in black & white
4. Things about Butterfly Kisses
5. What Shannon really wants
6. Buttercup's a world traveler
7. About Just Expressing Myself
8. School's already started for Kimmy
9. Pixiepincessmom's love songs
10. Ghost has a great husband
11. Zeus's funniest comments
12. Raggedy has advice from kids
    

blog, blogosphere, blogger by Chris Doyle

With the web having millions of blogs,
It's a swamp filled with diarists' logs.
As the blogosphere grows
(Yeah, this metaphor blows),
Will the bloggers outnumber the frogs?

A blog (a contraction of web log) is an internet site set up and maintained by a blogger who keeps diaries, expresses opinions on current events or pretty much anything, or provides links to interesting web sites and to other blogs. Blogs first emerged from the swamp in the late 1990s. Today there are an estimated 50 million worldwide. I have no idea how many frogs there are in the world.

• "Jordan" by Rebecca York. This is the first novella, and it introduces the mystery plot: someone drops dead during Voodoo Night at Camille DuPree's restaurant, and her ex-boyfriend, Jordan O'Reilly, is on the spot, moonlighting as a security guard. They have to deal with unfinished business between them, as well as the murder, and someone terrorizing Camille.

• "Liam" by Ann Voss Peterson. Then an ambitious cop, Yancy, arrests Jordan for the murder, and big brother Liam joins forces with defense attorney Simone Jones to get him free and solve the case--and find themselves in danger as well. They also have to deal with the usual cop/attorney animosity.

• "Zachary" by Patricia Rosemoor. In the final novella, illegitimate brother Zachary Doucet is pulled into the case and teams up with Yancy's partner Rebecca Romero, who believes Yancy's gone too far. Zachary and Rebecca were ex-partners, and she's the one responsible for him losing out on a promotion because of bending the rules.

1. Mrs. Doubtfire. Every time our daughter visits, she watches this movie. Several times. There's a sequel in the works. I'm sure she'll be thrilled.


2. RV. Continuing with the Robin Williams comedy theme... Saw this in the theater. Some laugh-aloud moments, and some things we could relate to from our trips with our travel trailer.

3. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Saw this in the theater, too. Went to the most remote and generally least crowded of the local AAFES theaters, on a Thursday night, and it was still packed. Unfortunately, it was during the few weeks of actual summer weather we had, and the a/c was either nonexistent or not up to the challenge of cooling the theater. So we enjoyed it, but the heat was really distracting.

4. Mission Impossible III. Yes, we're insane. We went back to the same theater the very next night to see this one. Unsurprisingly, it was much less crowded. It wasn't bad, it wasn't great. And I did pretty well just ignoring all the wacko-ness of Tom Cruise. I'm much happier not knowing anything about actors' private lives, really, but this one makes me feel bad, because we have a friend who's a dead ringer for Cruise.


5. Mrs. Right. From our Sugar DVD queue. Meh. Normally, the Wicked Pictures movies are funny, but this one... a woman scorned gets back at the 3 guy who spurned her--by making herself into the woman of their dreams, giving them the best sex of their lives, and then leaving. Um.... I'm still trying to figure out how this was supposed to punish them. And the star had creepy hair.

6. Broken Arrow. I watched this on VHS while exercising (it's easier to exercise to tapes than DVDs because you don't have to search for where you left off the last time). Psycho Travolta, kinda hot Christian Slater, lots of explosions and chase scenes--good for exercise motivation.


7. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. When Carl's gone, which he has been for 2 weeks (he'll be home tomorrow), the boys and I have a tradition of watching movies from our collection that 1) they haven't seen and 2) they normally wouldn't watch. This was the first one. We'd avoided it beause it's rated R, but turns out it's only rated R because of a few F-bombs. Curran's 16, Camden's 11. They've heard it before. Funny, and more dramatic than I'd remembered.

8. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I couldn't believe they hadn't seen this. We'd discussed it while Dagny ws still here, but never got around to watching it. They were hesitant, but it's the rule that I pick out the movies when it's just the 3 of us. They loved it, and didn't even complain (much) when I sang along to all the songs. "Toot Sweets" is still going through my head every once in a while, as is "Truly Scrumptious."

9. Dances with Wolves. This is the kind of movie for which I started the tradition--it's definitely not the sort of thing the boys will watch on their own, and we always tended to underestimate their tolerance for drama. Unsurprisingly, they loved this one, too.

10. All of Me. Then the mail came, and with it 3 DVDs I got great deals on. This was the first one. Steve Martin again, and Lily Tomlin. Classic physical humor, and the immortal line "back in bowl." (okay, maybe that's just me)

11. They Call Me Trinity. Western comedy I remembered from my childhood--vividly. I saw this at the drive-in with my parents, and remembered the theme song, and the scene when Trinity shot the guy in the butt through the balcony. I thought it would appeal to the boys' sense of humor, and it did.

12. Hitch. My first experiment in buying a used DVD from Netflix. The boys were more amused by Albert's dancing than the romantic hijinks, but I'm not surprised. It was a cute movie, and Will Smith would probably be on my short list, should I ever write one.


13. Trinity Is Still My Name. Second movie on the DVD. Still fun. We missed the whistling theme song from the first movie, but the farting baby probably made up for it. I'll have to look for more movies in this series--I think they like it even more than Bonanza.
    

1. Shannon's doing things she never thought she'd do
2. PixiePincessMom's watching movies over & over
   
3. Kukka-Maria's catching up on famous felines
   
4. Carmen's laughing
5. Christine's having an actual life
6. Just Expressing Myself is internet-happy
7. Buttercup loves New York
8. Mar is being random
9. Ma is remembering Hawaii
10. Trish is quoting hilariously
11. Cooth says these things don't go with fries
12. Margie is Seussical about Snakes on a Plane
13. Laura is sleepy
14. Tug is advocating the use of mirrors
15. Zeus and more famous felines
16. Kristarella's having a self-portrait contest
17. Jenny Ryan is afraid
18. Candy Minx applies The Prisoner's Dilemma
19. Karen is remembering last year