Thursday, May 11, 2006
13 boyfriends
I'm tired today, and this is all I could come up with. Doug did mention that the key to being able to keep up with 13 new things every week was the absence of a sense of shame, and I guess I'm proving him right.
the 13 boyfriends:
- K. My kindergarten crush. Unrequited passion. A few years later, I found him completely uninteresting. Boy, was I fickle.
- R. First grade. We got
in troubletattled on for kissing on the bus. The bus driver, no doubt relieved that no screams, blood, or vomit were involved, told the tattler to leave us alone. - C. The First. Years later, I mentioned this to someone, who said she'd always thought he was gay. Good thing I believe that's something you're born with, or I might feel a bit guilty about that.
- K. First 'real' boyfriend. We went to a Queen concert during their Day at the Races tour (which pretty much tells you how old I am). The relationship was characterized by our love of the same music and our loathing of All Things Disco. Had a brief relationship redux a couple years later when I was home from college.
- L. A whole year older than me, plus he had his own apartment. This is the relationship where I learned that I could wrap someone around my little finger, and that if I could, I'd despise him, and myself, for it. He hung around my mom's house for months after I broke up with him and went away to college, and my mom couldn't understand why I'd be so mean to such a nice guy. That's why, mom.
- L. Met him my first weekend in the dorm, at a party. Spent about 3 years with him on & off. Not a particularly healthy relationship, but I learned a lot.
- S. Don't remember where I met him, but we did live in the same dorm. Friends before and after. Corresponded a lot.
- B. We worked together in the dorm cafeteria, and until a bunch of us took a trip to Cedar Point one summer, I didn't realize he thought about me 'like that.' It freaked me out a little bit.
- K. I'd had a crush on him in high school (he played the trumpet--need I say more?), so when he showed up at one of my brother's notorious parties, and I'd had a few to drink, I had no qualms about inviting him home with me. Lesson learned: some things are better left to the imagination.
- K. Met him while working at the hospital. He'd had a knee operation (anterior cruciate ligament reconstruction), and was there for a little while. I was working 3 - 11, which shift included giving back rubs. This is the relationship where I decided I was going to be THE best darn girlfriend ever. And he went back to his ex-girlfriend. Lesson learned. He was very creative, though.
- A. Hospital again. I didn't even really know him--he was a friend of my brother's, and I'd gone to school with his brother. He was in traction after a motorcycle accident, he was bored, I was bored and rebounding.
- M. Cute, cute, cute. And about 5 years younger than me. Met him at the Army recruiting station & took him home. Everyone should do this once.
- Carl. The Mary Poppins of men: "practically perfect in every way." Which is why, after all that sluttishness, I've been monogamous for 22 years.
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You had an unusual preponderance of K-named boyfriends. These are doomed to failure, as any student of Highlander could tell you (all the bad guys' names began with K).
But why would any of this embarrass you? Takes a lot more than that to embarrass me!
But why would any of this embarrass you? Takes a lot more than that to embarrass me!
# posted by 
: 5/11/2006 8:45 PM
: 5/11/2006 8:45 PM
Ah, could be the memories that were embarrassing... or perhaps it was all the stuff I deleted.
Too bad nobody told me about K names way back when.
Too bad nobody told me about K names way back when.
Well, now you know :) If Carl starts spelling his name Karl, run the other way.
# posted by : 5/12/2006 2:49 AM
: 5/12/2006 2:49 AM
Glad to hear that something good can come from Army recruiting stations! I'm off for one right now, the life I save could be my own. (Just kidding, I'm going to see Ice Age with my husband. When I made the reservation the lady asked me how many in my party of 2 were children. I was like, "Do I have to answer that?"
# posted by : 5/12/2006 5:57 PM
: 5/12/2006 5:57 PM
I'll be alert, Doug. I'm guessing the same doesn't apply to female names beginning with K?
Lisa, if your husband is willing to go to see Ice Age with you, well. That's more impressive than chick flicks. No equivocating necessary. :)
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Lisa, if your husband is willing to go to see Ice Age with you, well. That's more impressive than chick flicks. No equivocating necessary. :)
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